A huge departure from my “normal” here…

I’ve been obviously absent from my blog for some time now.  It wasn’t intentional.  I’ve been distracted.  Apparently my blog isn’t the only part of my day from which I have been distracted and unintentionally obviously absent…  life has been hurting.  It’s been hurting A LOT.  Sooooo… here we go…  how could I be so stupid?  How did I not see what was happening?  Trust me, all of this blabbering WILL start to make sense… eventually.  So here “we” go.  Stick with me.  Or don’t.  I’m trying to heal here and nothing makes sense today.

praying hands

Dear Heavenly Father,

Today, 7/11/2015, I put every bit of my faith, trust, hope in you.  This pain I am experiencing is not from you.  I know that.  You are the Great Physician.  You make all things new.  You bring healing.  I admit that I’ve tried everything else when I should have turned to you.  Please forgive me.  I love you but even more so YOU love ME.  Facebook, phone calls, emails, none of them are as healing and powerful as you.  I’m not coming to you today just to feel better.  I am coming to you because it is where I belong.  It is where I am supposed to go.  It is the right thing to do.  Your word says you will NEVER leave me nor forsake me.  I am so sorry that I have been distracted & unfaithful to you.  I’d like to say it won’t happen again.  You know me.  It will happen again but I’m really going to try to turn a new leaf.  Now let’s see where you lead us together.

Amen.

Stay tuned… please…

TTT – Total Transparency Today

If you have read any of the stuff I have been writing and posting here you know that I rarely am able to be 100% serious.  This one hopefully will be a departure from that routine.  HOPEFULLY but I’m not making any guarantees here!

satisfactionWe all hear about governments being “Totally transparent administrations” which rarely, if ever, happen.  Well, today I am going to be a “Totally transparent widow”.  That sounds ridiculous!  But fasten your seat belts… batten down your hatches… cause I have no idea where I’m going with this and it could be a real trip.

seatbeltYesterday, March 22nd, was 7 months since Gil passed into the arms of our Heavenly Father.  I saw it happen.  This is going to sound strange but it was the most wonderful “thing” I have ever experienced.  To actually watch your loved one pass from your arms into the best arms in all of the universe!

God holding the universeAs I was driving on I-95 yesterday morning, my mind started to wander.  I know.  It’s bad to let your mind wander when you are driving on an interstate highway BUT… it was before sunrise and there weren’t many fellow drivers out there.  So I could have been on a country road that just happened to have a speed limit posted of 70.  And I was wearing my sunglasses in preparation for the sun to rise.

70 MPH sunglassesSon To Rise!!!  If we wear our sunglasses in preparation for the “sun”… what are we doing in preparation for THE SON?  But I digress here…

Jesus risingI was thinking about the past 7 months and how far God has brought me in such a short amount of time.  12 hours before Gil passed, he seriously said to me, “Shrimper? Promise me that you won’t sit around for a year being sad.  Get out there and find somebody who has a little dog.”  “Nobody is going to come to the front door and say, Hi Gloria.  I am (enter name here) and I want to be your friend.”  I AM NOT KIDDING HERE!  He actually said these very words to me!  I told him that he was nuts cause I didn’t want a little dog…

front doorNow, it is important for you to know this… we had moved to Port Saint John less than a year before he got sick.  We had bought this house and gutted it and were still in the process of making it into a home.  Gil and I had not even had the opportunity of enjoying this home cause we were so busy working on it!  I might have had 2 or 3 friends but even that is a stretch.  We hadn’t become involved at a church, community groups, social things… nothing!  So here I was, a total stranger in a new home in a strange area.

Talk about putting your life totally and completely into the hands of the Lord!  And He has NEVER failed me even for one moment.  I’ve failed HIM a lot.  But He loves me so much that He isn’t going to hold that against me.

In these past 7 months and 1 day, I have found out so much about myself.  I have found out so much about the world.  Clarity is mine.  That last point is HUGE considering how crazy my brain works at times.  I’ve made some really poor decisions but nothing of great importance.  God has literally walked ahead, beside, next to me for each and every step.

handsHe has pushed me when I needed a shove.  He has given me breath when I couldn’t go on.  He has wiped my tears in the middle of the night.  He has brought so many blessings into my life and shown me how some of what I saw as “bad stuff” actually was HIS GOOD STUFF.

He has brought me some new and very special friends.  And He has given my one super great friend who is over 1000 miles away from here the patience of Job and wisdom for the job.  Job and job.  Interesting…  Oh dear… now the tears are starting to flow.  I am so very thankful for this ONE SPECIAL FRIEND.  You know who you are and I want to publicly acknowledge you.  I’m not going to take an ad out in your local paper and I’m not hiring the Geico Skytypers so don’t be worrying 🙂

thank youGod has brought people into my life who show me glimpses of the hope for the future that He has for me.  He promises that in His word.  I am NOT alone.  Never.

I remember going to the Sunday morning worship service that first Sunday when I went to a new church all by myself.  The minute I walked into the building, God showed me that I was where He wanted me to be.  I also remember watching the worship team as they lead the singing.  I remember thinking to myself, “I wonder if I will ever connect to God through the music again?”  I’m a church musician and I’m not connecting to God through the music?????  I was TRAINED to be connected to God through His music for crying out loud!!!

SUDDENLY, I realized as I drove that I AM connecting again.  God is in my heart.  He is in my head.  He is in my song.  He IS my song!

indexDo I have loneliness in my life?  You betcha.  I am lonely but never alone.  Am I ever anxious?  Yup.  Who wouldn’t be?  I’m not a saint, you know?  Do I worry?  Of course.  I’m a woman.  We are supposed to worry.  HAHA… okay.  I’m busted here.  I messed up with the “serious” part.  But I am being serious.  I am Gloria and I am a widow but I am not an orphan and God is my Father.  He has figured it all out.  He knows my future.  He knows everything because He holds my tomorrows in His precious hands.

He’s holding your tomorrows in His hands, too.  Each and every one of us can trust His promises and love our lives because of Him.  We can love our lives even when our days hurt.  All we have to do is look around and count our blessings.

He is good because He is God.  Amen.

Blessings in Bunches!

blessings in bunches

me

My Favorite Things for today – A Blessed Sunday

Today’s list is almost like going to a buffet… it has a lot of variety!

  • Worship this morning… will 10:45 never arrive?
  • My Bible – every day it is the BEST read
  • The phone – a new number being added to the list of callers 🙂
  • LAUGHTER – sometimes for no reason at all!
  • Our world – God’s omniscience over all of it.
  • HOPE – FUTURE – PROSPER

AA009679 laughter Calvary Chapel - Viera

Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future…

Thank you Lord.  Amen.