A huge departure from my “normal” here…

I’ve been obviously absent from my blog for some time now.  It wasn’t intentional.  I’ve been distracted.  Apparently my blog isn’t the only part of my day from which I have been distracted and unintentionally obviously absent…  life has been hurting.  It’s been hurting A LOT.  Sooooo… here we go…  how could I be so stupid?  How did I not see what was happening?  Trust me, all of this blabbering WILL start to make sense… eventually.  So here “we” go.  Stick with me.  Or don’t.  I’m trying to heal here and nothing makes sense today.

praying hands

Dear Heavenly Father,

Today, 7/11/2015, I put every bit of my faith, trust, hope in you.  This pain I am experiencing is not from you.  I know that.  You are the Great Physician.  You make all things new.  You bring healing.  I admit that I’ve tried everything else when I should have turned to you.  Please forgive me.  I love you but even more so YOU love ME.  Facebook, phone calls, emails, none of them are as healing and powerful as you.  I’m not coming to you today just to feel better.  I am coming to you because it is where I belong.  It is where I am supposed to go.  It is the right thing to do.  Your word says you will NEVER leave me nor forsake me.  I am so sorry that I have been distracted & unfaithful to you.  I’d like to say it won’t happen again.  You know me.  It will happen again but I’m really going to try to turn a new leaf.  Now let’s see where you lead us together.

Amen.

Stay tuned… please…

Quandary … or however you spell that word that means “kerfluffle”…

I’m in a huge kerfluffle or that other word that I am not sure I know how to spell correctly.  Talk about spelling… since I don’t know how to spell “misspell” correctly, I just say… spelled it incorrectly.  But once again I digress.  I’m good at digressing.  I’m also good at babbling.  Which should be 100% obvious here right now!!!  Anyhow.  About the kerfluffle.  Is that even a word?  I ask that question A LOT.  We used to call made up words “Gilisms” but that’s for another day.

Gil salute

I have been hungry for a Three Musketeer bar for DAYS now.  DAYS, I tell you!  Not just a candy bar.  No “any old” candy bar will do.  I am specifically hungry for a Three Musketeer bar.  The funny thing is this.  Since I went through chemo, I don’t even LIKE chocolate.  Before chemo it was like a food group to my body.  Now it tastes like eating acid.  Not that I ever truly have tasted acid.  But I can imagine… I’m good at imagining.  Oops.  Another digression.

3 musketeers

So my kerfluffle is this.  I would have to get dressed tonight (I am NOT sitting here naked.  I am ready to crawl into bed!) and get in the Tundra and drive somewhere to buy a Three Musketeer bar.  Heaven forbid if I would actually WALK to the little convenience store about a mile away.  Or ride my bike!  That would take exercise.  This is getting ridiculous.

my bike(This really IS my bike!  Isn’t it cute?)

Anyhow, I DO have a Betty Crocker fudgy brownie or is it fudgey brownie mix.  If I made them, I’d have enough chocolate treats for the next two weeks.  Which is a perfect amount of time… but that’s another digression.  But I would have to do all of that measuring and mixing and spreading and baking and the timing.  OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS… it tires me out just to think about all of that work!!!

fudge brownies

Sooooo I guess what I’ll do is drink a glass of water.  With a handful of M & M’s.  They’re left over from Christmas.  HAHAHA!!! That should really satisfy my longing for a Three Musketeer bar.  Right?

M&Ms

But THAT my friends is a topic for another day.  Right now I am tired after all of this thinking.

GO TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING GO!!!

This is soooo funny!  Marty St Louis played for the Tampa Bay Lightning since forever but now he plays for the newyawkrangers… soooo tonight he must’ve become confused because he scored a goal FOR the Lightning!!!  And it counted.  HAHAHAHA!!!

200px-Tampa_Bay_Lightning_Logo_2011.svgScore right now with 8 minutes (more or less) to go in the first period… TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING 2   newyawkrangers 1

GO LIGHTNING!!!

HAT TRICK!!!  Tampa Bay Lightning 3  and that other team…1

11:43 left in the 2nd period.  WHOOOOHOOOOO!!!!

UPDATE:  end of 2nd period…. TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING 3   newyawkrangers 2

ruh roh… and if these commentators could be ANY more biased for the new yawk team… good grief!!!  Let’s play FAIR guys or we’ll replace you with women!!!

Well… I might be eating some words here.  I thought these announcers sounded familiar!  Philadelphia Flyers announcers!!!  I grew up listening to them… now wait.  Let me reword that… I got OLDER listening to them! haha

Less than 2 minutes to go and it is now Lightning 6 and the other team from newyawk 2

Think it is safe to go to bed now?

Happy Victoria Day to all of my Canadian friends!!!  G’nite one & all 🙂

Tonight’s THE night… haha

How’s THAT for getting your attention?  Tonight is not THE night for THAT… not in my life anyhow.  Tonight is THE night when I am going to start writing something on my blog again.  I know I’ve been AWOL for too long now and for that… well, I guess I apologize.

It’s been hard to concentrate on ANYTHING these past few weeks.  I hear this is normal when you’re going through this process.  Who knows?  Normal is just a setting on the dryer…

Later friends… y’all are THE BEST!!!Standalone_1175X1290

Assumptions… Wrong conclusions… Missed friendships…

I’ll state this right up front… I’m not sure how to say what I want to say but I promise that this will be my best try cause it really matters in my heart at this exact moment.

Most of us have heard that phrase about the word “assumption”, right?  It’s actually about the word “assume”.  What it makes out of “u” and “me”???  With this age of impersonal communications when people mostly “talk” by email, tweeting, facebooking, texting, and other things about which I know nothing… and we don’t actually speak words to one another.  No long phone chats.  What’s a handwritten letter?  How long has it been since you actually MET with another person to have a face-to-face talk?  It seems that those last three options take too much time from our busy lives.  WHAT are we so busy doing?  I’m one of those strange folks who still has a land line… most days it just sits there doing nothing other than keeping its place on the shelf.  That’s sad 😦   Oh, don’t get me wrong.  It gets used A LOT to make calls but they usually end up in a voice mailbox… then the answer to the phone message is a text on my cell phone.  That’s dumb.

When all we do is practice these modern ways of communicating, we miss so much of a good relationship.  We miss the sound of the other person’s voice.  We miss the funny, quirky little sounds.  We miss the emotions.  We miss the laughter.  We miss the tears.  We miss the silent pauses…  We “read” instead of “hear”.  We use words that make sense to us but sometimes in the conveyance to the other person the meaning is misunderstood.  When explanations are given, rarely does it “fix” things.  Often it makes matters worse.

Sometimes a budding friendship that could turn into something beautiful faces an untimely death.  Because of the “back and forth”… the personal part is lacking… and the friendship becomes dispensable.  It becomes more work, more energy than we care to expend.

Why don’t we value voice to voice, face to face, sharing the same space types of relationships any more?  Is it because we don’t really prioritize friendships any more?  When you have 3000+ “friends” on facebook, who cares if you lose 1 or 2 here and there?

Is it time to slooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow down our lives and get back to how things “used to be” when we took time for one another?

Are we so protective of our lives that we put up these false walls around our personal space to control every moment?  If so, is that REALLY necessary?

Good relationships start out as friendships.

The other day… the 25th exactly… part of the devotions that I read discussed the importance of maintaining a vital connection with God.  The author stated that as Christians we are to maintain our relationship with Him.  In trying to make sense of this instruction from the Bible, I searched the concordance in my Bible to find out what the Bible has to say about relationships.

To have a vital relationship with God (which can also be transferred to relationships with one another) we should:  TALK to one another… LISTEN… KEEP UP with one another… PRAY… Spend time together… make the relationship a priority.

In all of the reading that I did, not even one time… not even one little smidgen of information hinted at “Hurry through…”  Quite the opposite.

I’m sad tonight.  A friendship probably has been missed because of an assumption and wrong conclusions but mostly because of “modern technology” which took away all of the really good stuff.  The laughter.  The sighs.  The tears.  The voice exchange… Yeah.  I’m sad.

But there comes a time in your life when you realize that you are only an option in the life of another person.  There is a quote that somebody shared with me a few months ago… and it is real fitting tonight… “Don’t make somebody else a priority in your life when you are simply an option in theirs.”

As a Christian… I’m struggling tonight.  This whole friendship thing… It’s time to go meet with God.  I think He’s been waiting on me in the other room…

Peace.  peace