A huge departure from my “normal” here…

I’ve been obviously absent from my blog for some time now.  It wasn’t intentional.  I’ve been distracted.  Apparently my blog isn’t the only part of my day from which I have been distracted and unintentionally obviously absent…  life has been hurting.  It’s been hurting A LOT.  Sooooo… here we go…  how could I be so stupid?  How did I not see what was happening?  Trust me, all of this blabbering WILL start to make sense… eventually.  So here “we” go.  Stick with me.  Or don’t.  I’m trying to heal here and nothing makes sense today.

praying hands

Dear Heavenly Father,

Today, 7/11/2015, I put every bit of my faith, trust, hope in you.  This pain I am experiencing is not from you.  I know that.  You are the Great Physician.  You make all things new.  You bring healing.  I admit that I’ve tried everything else when I should have turned to you.  Please forgive me.  I love you but even more so YOU love ME.  Facebook, phone calls, emails, none of them are as healing and powerful as you.  I’m not coming to you today just to feel better.  I am coming to you because it is where I belong.  It is where I am supposed to go.  It is the right thing to do.  Your word says you will NEVER leave me nor forsake me.  I am so sorry that I have been distracted & unfaithful to you.  I’d like to say it won’t happen again.  You know me.  It will happen again but I’m really going to try to turn a new leaf.  Now let’s see where you lead us together.

Amen.

Stay tuned… please…

I’m REALLY starting to rethink the “staying in Florida” thing…

All it took was one step inside a Palmetto Moon store this morning to set me off again…  this is going to take some prayer but… am I South Carolina bound AGAIN???  Could be… it just could be…

Am I ready to be a Carolina Girl in life but for keeps this time?  I’m leaning that way…Welcome to South Carolina

Your sight of Jesus Christ…

This was inspired from “My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers… March 29th…  You can read the whole devotional at http://www.utmost.org  “Our Lord’s Surprise Visits”.

Hebrews 12:2

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus

the author and perfecter of MY FAITH

WHO for the JOY set before Him

endured the cross…

scorning its shame…

and sat down at the right hand…

THE RIGHT HAND!!!

of

the throne. of. God.

Amen & Amen

Assumptions… Wrong conclusions… Missed friendships…

I’ll state this right up front… I’m not sure how to say what I want to say but I promise that this will be my best try cause it really matters in my heart at this exact moment.

Most of us have heard that phrase about the word “assumption”, right?  It’s actually about the word “assume”.  What it makes out of “u” and “me”???  With this age of impersonal communications when people mostly “talk” by email, tweeting, facebooking, texting, and other things about which I know nothing… and we don’t actually speak words to one another.  No long phone chats.  What’s a handwritten letter?  How long has it been since you actually MET with another person to have a face-to-face talk?  It seems that those last three options take too much time from our busy lives.  WHAT are we so busy doing?  I’m one of those strange folks who still has a land line… most days it just sits there doing nothing other than keeping its place on the shelf.  That’s sad 😦   Oh, don’t get me wrong.  It gets used A LOT to make calls but they usually end up in a voice mailbox… then the answer to the phone message is a text on my cell phone.  That’s dumb.

When all we do is practice these modern ways of communicating, we miss so much of a good relationship.  We miss the sound of the other person’s voice.  We miss the funny, quirky little sounds.  We miss the emotions.  We miss the laughter.  We miss the tears.  We miss the silent pauses…  We “read” instead of “hear”.  We use words that make sense to us but sometimes in the conveyance to the other person the meaning is misunderstood.  When explanations are given, rarely does it “fix” things.  Often it makes matters worse.

Sometimes a budding friendship that could turn into something beautiful faces an untimely death.  Because of the “back and forth”… the personal part is lacking… and the friendship becomes dispensable.  It becomes more work, more energy than we care to expend.

Why don’t we value voice to voice, face to face, sharing the same space types of relationships any more?  Is it because we don’t really prioritize friendships any more?  When you have 3000+ “friends” on facebook, who cares if you lose 1 or 2 here and there?

Is it time to slooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow down our lives and get back to how things “used to be” when we took time for one another?

Are we so protective of our lives that we put up these false walls around our personal space to control every moment?  If so, is that REALLY necessary?

Good relationships start out as friendships.

The other day… the 25th exactly… part of the devotions that I read discussed the importance of maintaining a vital connection with God.  The author stated that as Christians we are to maintain our relationship with Him.  In trying to make sense of this instruction from the Bible, I searched the concordance in my Bible to find out what the Bible has to say about relationships.

To have a vital relationship with God (which can also be transferred to relationships with one another) we should:  TALK to one another… LISTEN… KEEP UP with one another… PRAY… Spend time together… make the relationship a priority.

In all of the reading that I did, not even one time… not even one little smidgen of information hinted at “Hurry through…”  Quite the opposite.

I’m sad tonight.  A friendship probably has been missed because of an assumption and wrong conclusions but mostly because of “modern technology” which took away all of the really good stuff.  The laughter.  The sighs.  The tears.  The voice exchange… Yeah.  I’m sad.

But there comes a time in your life when you realize that you are only an option in the life of another person.  There is a quote that somebody shared with me a few months ago… and it is real fitting tonight… “Don’t make somebody else a priority in your life when you are simply an option in theirs.”

As a Christian… I’m struggling tonight.  This whole friendship thing… It’s time to go meet with God.  I think He’s been waiting on me in the other room…

Peace.  peace

Completely Surrendering

This song has been playing on our local Christian radio station for the past few weeks.  The words are incredible.  The first time I heard it, I started crying… the more I listen to it the more powerful it becomes in my heart.

surrender 2When we finally get it that there is only one way to “do life” and that is by COMPLETELY SURRENDERING our lives back to Him, it is amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaZING!  Thank you Lord for loving me and taking such great care of my life.

surrender 3

TTT – Total Transparency Today

If you have read any of the stuff I have been writing and posting here you know that I rarely am able to be 100% serious.  This one hopefully will be a departure from that routine.  HOPEFULLY but I’m not making any guarantees here!

satisfactionWe all hear about governments being “Totally transparent administrations” which rarely, if ever, happen.  Well, today I am going to be a “Totally transparent widow”.  That sounds ridiculous!  But fasten your seat belts… batten down your hatches… cause I have no idea where I’m going with this and it could be a real trip.

seatbeltYesterday, March 22nd, was 7 months since Gil passed into the arms of our Heavenly Father.  I saw it happen.  This is going to sound strange but it was the most wonderful “thing” I have ever experienced.  To actually watch your loved one pass from your arms into the best arms in all of the universe!

God holding the universeAs I was driving on I-95 yesterday morning, my mind started to wander.  I know.  It’s bad to let your mind wander when you are driving on an interstate highway BUT… it was before sunrise and there weren’t many fellow drivers out there.  So I could have been on a country road that just happened to have a speed limit posted of 70.  And I was wearing my sunglasses in preparation for the sun to rise.

70 MPH sunglassesSon To Rise!!!  If we wear our sunglasses in preparation for the “sun”… what are we doing in preparation for THE SON?  But I digress here…

Jesus risingI was thinking about the past 7 months and how far God has brought me in such a short amount of time.  12 hours before Gil passed, he seriously said to me, “Shrimper? Promise me that you won’t sit around for a year being sad.  Get out there and find somebody who has a little dog.”  “Nobody is going to come to the front door and say, Hi Gloria.  I am (enter name here) and I want to be your friend.”  I AM NOT KIDDING HERE!  He actually said these very words to me!  I told him that he was nuts cause I didn’t want a little dog…

front doorNow, it is important for you to know this… we had moved to Port Saint John less than a year before he got sick.  We had bought this house and gutted it and were still in the process of making it into a home.  Gil and I had not even had the opportunity of enjoying this home cause we were so busy working on it!  I might have had 2 or 3 friends but even that is a stretch.  We hadn’t become involved at a church, community groups, social things… nothing!  So here I was, a total stranger in a new home in a strange area.

Talk about putting your life totally and completely into the hands of the Lord!  And He has NEVER failed me even for one moment.  I’ve failed HIM a lot.  But He loves me so much that He isn’t going to hold that against me.

In these past 7 months and 1 day, I have found out so much about myself.  I have found out so much about the world.  Clarity is mine.  That last point is HUGE considering how crazy my brain works at times.  I’ve made some really poor decisions but nothing of great importance.  God has literally walked ahead, beside, next to me for each and every step.

handsHe has pushed me when I needed a shove.  He has given me breath when I couldn’t go on.  He has wiped my tears in the middle of the night.  He has brought so many blessings into my life and shown me how some of what I saw as “bad stuff” actually was HIS GOOD STUFF.

He has brought me some new and very special friends.  And He has given my one super great friend who is over 1000 miles away from here the patience of Job and wisdom for the job.  Job and job.  Interesting…  Oh dear… now the tears are starting to flow.  I am so very thankful for this ONE SPECIAL FRIEND.  You know who you are and I want to publicly acknowledge you.  I’m not going to take an ad out in your local paper and I’m not hiring the Geico Skytypers so don’t be worrying 🙂

thank youGod has brought people into my life who show me glimpses of the hope for the future that He has for me.  He promises that in His word.  I am NOT alone.  Never.

I remember going to the Sunday morning worship service that first Sunday when I went to a new church all by myself.  The minute I walked into the building, God showed me that I was where He wanted me to be.  I also remember watching the worship team as they lead the singing.  I remember thinking to myself, “I wonder if I will ever connect to God through the music again?”  I’m a church musician and I’m not connecting to God through the music?????  I was TRAINED to be connected to God through His music for crying out loud!!!

SUDDENLY, I realized as I drove that I AM connecting again.  God is in my heart.  He is in my head.  He is in my song.  He IS my song!

indexDo I have loneliness in my life?  You betcha.  I am lonely but never alone.  Am I ever anxious?  Yup.  Who wouldn’t be?  I’m not a saint, you know?  Do I worry?  Of course.  I’m a woman.  We are supposed to worry.  HAHA… okay.  I’m busted here.  I messed up with the “serious” part.  But I am being serious.  I am Gloria and I am a widow but I am not an orphan and God is my Father.  He has figured it all out.  He knows my future.  He knows everything because He holds my tomorrows in His precious hands.

He’s holding your tomorrows in His hands, too.  Each and every one of us can trust His promises and love our lives because of Him.  We can love our lives even when our days hurt.  All we have to do is look around and count our blessings.

He is good because He is God.  Amen.

Blessings in Bunches!

blessings in bunches

me

Whatever YOUR Will… whatEVER your will…

I’ve always like the music of Sidewalk Prophets but this song really speaks to me… especially right now…

I think it is amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaZING when you come across a song, a poem, a story, whatever…  at exactly the perfectly right moment.  That’s how this song appeared before my eyes.

God works like that… and He is amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaZING!