I want to be an “oak of righteousness”…

loan-oak-treeI want to be an oak tree.  Standing. Straight. And. Tall.

But more than being an oak TREE, I want to stand STRAIGHT and TALL because of what God has done for me.  “a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.”  Isaiah 61:3

Now… let’s back up a little bit…  I’m going to tell you straight up here.  HERE.  I have no idea where I am going with this post.  Just so you know.

As I wrote yesterday, I have been broken lately.  I’ve been running round in circles.  NOT. SMART.  Instead of running TO God, I’ve been running in circles.  Like a dog.  A dog chasing its tail.  A dog chasing its tail but never quite catching it.

dog_chasing_tailBut isn’t he cute?  It’s NOT cute being broken, though.  It is NOT cute chasing after all things BUT God.

For several months now I have been chasing my tail.  I have been trying everything except the things God has been putting into my head, into my heart, into my mind… is that stupid or what?  I knew what He wanted me to do.  I knew what I wanted me to do.  I was going to get around to it.  When the time was right, I would get around to it.

I went to Dollar Tree searching for one.  I went to the grocery store thinking they’d have it.  Suddenly I realized I already HAD one… round tuitIt isn’t round, though.  It is rectangular in shape with thousands of pages.  In fact, I have several of them.  The “Round Tuit” I have been needing is my Bible.  And quiet time.  And prayer time.  And listening… listening to God speak.

I guess there comes a point in life when you get sick and tired of being broken.  SICK.  TIRED.   I came to the breaking point a few days ago and the tears started to flow… really flow… they wouldn’t stop.  Then He spoke to me… COME TO ME.  SIT WITH ME.  LET ME LOVE YOU, MY CHILD.  Yes!  He spoke that clearly and that loudly.

There is an author.  Her name is Suzanne Eller.  She has written other good books but right now this book is GREAT.  It’s title is, “The Mended Heart”.  I have heard all kinds of speakers on the radio and t.v. and internet talking about brokenness.  I have heard all sorts of stuff about how we get to this point.  FINALLY.  Somebody speaks/writes/teaches/leads us OUT of the brokenness!!!

So I will hold onto God’s hand and trust Him to lead me out of this pit.  I don’t have to stay here another moment.  In fact, from the very moment … the AH-HA Moment that happened yesterday… the pit has disappeared.  God has put me on a path that leads me to a place where only HE knows.  But He has promised to NEVER leave me nor forsake me.

I leave you with this for now…  Isaiah 61:1-3

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim GOOD NEWS to the poor.  He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called OAKS OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”

To be WHOLE again.  To have a PURPOSE again.  Those are some of the desires of my heart.  But my #1 desire is to be God’s Girl.  I was on His mind when He sent His Son to this earth.  When Jesus spoke in the synagogue in Luke 4:18-21, I was one of those persons sitting in the synagogue.

Precious Lord, take my hand, lead me on, help me stand…  I love you, Lord…

You Love Me Lord 005Amen.

A huge departure from my “normal” here…

I’ve been obviously absent from my blog for some time now.  It wasn’t intentional.  I’ve been distracted.  Apparently my blog isn’t the only part of my day from which I have been distracted and unintentionally obviously absent…  life has been hurting.  It’s been hurting A LOT.  Sooooo… here we go…  how could I be so stupid?  How did I not see what was happening?  Trust me, all of this blabbering WILL start to make sense… eventually.  So here “we” go.  Stick with me.  Or don’t.  I’m trying to heal here and nothing makes sense today.

praying hands

Dear Heavenly Father,

Today, 7/11/2015, I put every bit of my faith, trust, hope in you.  This pain I am experiencing is not from you.  I know that.  You are the Great Physician.  You make all things new.  You bring healing.  I admit that I’ve tried everything else when I should have turned to you.  Please forgive me.  I love you but even more so YOU love ME.  Facebook, phone calls, emails, none of them are as healing and powerful as you.  I’m not coming to you today just to feel better.  I am coming to you because it is where I belong.  It is where I am supposed to go.  It is the right thing to do.  Your word says you will NEVER leave me nor forsake me.  I am so sorry that I have been distracted & unfaithful to you.  I’d like to say it won’t happen again.  You know me.  It will happen again but I’m really going to try to turn a new leaf.  Now let’s see where you lead us together.

Amen.

Stay tuned… please…

Quandary … or however you spell that word that means “kerfluffle”…

I’m in a huge kerfluffle or that other word that I am not sure I know how to spell correctly.  Talk about spelling… since I don’t know how to spell “misspell” correctly, I just say… spelled it incorrectly.  But once again I digress.  I’m good at digressing.  I’m also good at babbling.  Which should be 100% obvious here right now!!!  Anyhow.  About the kerfluffle.  Is that even a word?  I ask that question A LOT.  We used to call made up words “Gilisms” but that’s for another day.

Gil salute

I have been hungry for a Three Musketeer bar for DAYS now.  DAYS, I tell you!  Not just a candy bar.  No “any old” candy bar will do.  I am specifically hungry for a Three Musketeer bar.  The funny thing is this.  Since I went through chemo, I don’t even LIKE chocolate.  Before chemo it was like a food group to my body.  Now it tastes like eating acid.  Not that I ever truly have tasted acid.  But I can imagine… I’m good at imagining.  Oops.  Another digression.

3 musketeers

So my kerfluffle is this.  I would have to get dressed tonight (I am NOT sitting here naked.  I am ready to crawl into bed!) and get in the Tundra and drive somewhere to buy a Three Musketeer bar.  Heaven forbid if I would actually WALK to the little convenience store about a mile away.  Or ride my bike!  That would take exercise.  This is getting ridiculous.

my bike(This really IS my bike!  Isn’t it cute?)

Anyhow, I DO have a Betty Crocker fudgy brownie or is it fudgey brownie mix.  If I made them, I’d have enough chocolate treats for the next two weeks.  Which is a perfect amount of time… but that’s another digression.  But I would have to do all of that measuring and mixing and spreading and baking and the timing.  OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS… it tires me out just to think about all of that work!!!

fudge brownies

Sooooo I guess what I’ll do is drink a glass of water.  With a handful of M & M’s.  They’re left over from Christmas.  HAHAHA!!! That should really satisfy my longing for a Three Musketeer bar.  Right?

M&Ms

But THAT my friends is a topic for another day.  Right now I am tired after all of this thinking.

This Scripture is today’s Encouraging Word from K-Love… because it moved my heart so much, I am sharing with you – my special friends…

This is real love – not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.

1 John 4:10

How can we ever say “Thank You” enough?

How can we ever fully grasp this concept?

How can we ever return this love?

We can’t.  We simply can’t.

We can just “Do” – for that is all He expects from us…

Love One Another

I love you…

“Qu’ils mangent de la brioche”

I have the great honor of baking the CAKE for The Captain’s Speech blog party to be held at precisely the stroke of midnight, June 23rd… FUN!!!

Amazing_Huge_CakeEveryone within reading distance of the invitation is invited to join the fun, frivolity and festivities!!!

Here are some ideas I have found for the cake I am to bake…  AND (I had to insert an “AND”, Paul… in your honor!) am leaning toward the lopsided cakes.  Get it?  LEANING TOWARD!!!  hahahaha…

big-cake1253 big-cake1041 big-cake300

I am ESPECIALLY fond of this last one as it is my most FAVOURITE (I purposely spelled favorite this way since The Captain is Canadian and we Yanks know how they like to add those “u” letters to EVERYTHING!!) colour.  Periwinkle!  Yes!  There is such a color as periwinkle 🙂

keep calm and eat cakeNow, I need to put some great thought into this most honourable of responsibilities.  I am in a full fledged kerfluffle over this …. some word.  Opportunity!

let themJust for fun… I am adding this most disgusting of cakes.  Looking at this photo makes me want to throw up!

20110814-1056357-2Let me know your opinions and I shall get busy on this baking post haste!!!

What a party this shall be!!!

GO TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING GO!!!

This is soooo funny!  Marty St Louis played for the Tampa Bay Lightning since forever but now he plays for the newyawkrangers… soooo tonight he must’ve become confused because he scored a goal FOR the Lightning!!!  And it counted.  HAHAHAHA!!!

200px-Tampa_Bay_Lightning_Logo_2011.svgScore right now with 8 minutes (more or less) to go in the first period… TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING 2   newyawkrangers 1

GO LIGHTNING!!!

HAT TRICK!!!  Tampa Bay Lightning 3  and that other team…1

11:43 left in the 2nd period.  WHOOOOHOOOOO!!!!

UPDATE:  end of 2nd period…. TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING 3   newyawkrangers 2

ruh roh… and if these commentators could be ANY more biased for the new yawk team… good grief!!!  Let’s play FAIR guys or we’ll replace you with women!!!

Well… I might be eating some words here.  I thought these announcers sounded familiar!  Philadelphia Flyers announcers!!!  I grew up listening to them… now wait.  Let me reword that… I got OLDER listening to them! haha

Less than 2 minutes to go and it is now Lightning 6 and the other team from newyawk 2

Think it is safe to go to bed now?

Happy Victoria Day to all of my Canadian friends!!!  G’nite one & all 🙂

The LIGHTNING have struck – Yeah!!!

So this technically isn’t a genuine blog entry but I’m tired and I made a promise to y’all and I am so happy that my Lightning won tonight… they advance to the Eastern Conference Final in the Stanley Cup Playoffs!!!

Tampa Bay Lightning – 4

Montreal Canadians – 1

Sorry to all of my Canadian friends… SSSSSS… but WE WON!!!200px-Tampa_Bay_Lightning_Logo_2011.svg

Tonight’s THE night… haha

How’s THAT for getting your attention?  Tonight is not THE night for THAT… not in my life anyhow.  Tonight is THE night when I am going to start writing something on my blog again.  I know I’ve been AWOL for too long now and for that… well, I guess I apologize.

It’s been hard to concentrate on ANYTHING these past few weeks.  I hear this is normal when you’re going through this process.  Who knows?  Normal is just a setting on the dryer…

Later friends… y’all are THE BEST!!!Standalone_1175X1290