A huge departure from my “normal” here…

I’ve been obviously absent from my blog for some time now.  It wasn’t intentional.  I’ve been distracted.  Apparently my blog isn’t the only part of my day from which I have been distracted and unintentionally obviously absent…  life has been hurting.  It’s been hurting A LOT.  Sooooo… here we go…  how could I be so stupid?  How did I not see what was happening?  Trust me, all of this blabbering WILL start to make sense… eventually.  So here “we” go.  Stick with me.  Or don’t.  I’m trying to heal here and nothing makes sense today.

praying hands

Dear Heavenly Father,

Today, 7/11/2015, I put every bit of my faith, trust, hope in you.  This pain I am experiencing is not from you.  I know that.  You are the Great Physician.  You make all things new.  You bring healing.  I admit that I’ve tried everything else when I should have turned to you.  Please forgive me.  I love you but even more so YOU love ME.  Facebook, phone calls, emails, none of them are as healing and powerful as you.  I’m not coming to you today just to feel better.  I am coming to you because it is where I belong.  It is where I am supposed to go.  It is the right thing to do.  Your word says you will NEVER leave me nor forsake me.  I am so sorry that I have been distracted & unfaithful to you.  I’d like to say it won’t happen again.  You know me.  It will happen again but I’m really going to try to turn a new leaf.  Now let’s see where you lead us together.

Amen.

Stay tuned… please…

Your sight of Jesus Christ…

This was inspired from “My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers… March 29th…  You can read the whole devotional at http://www.utmost.org  “Our Lord’s Surprise Visits”.

Hebrews 12:2

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus

the author and perfecter of MY FAITH

WHO for the JOY set before Him

endured the cross…

scorning its shame…

and sat down at the right hand…

THE RIGHT HAND!!!

of

the throne. of. God.

Amen & Amen

MORE of … LIVING LIFE and LOVING it, too!!!

inspiring_friendship_life_love_family_wisdom_quote_023_quote

Soooo… when God “needs” them back it leaves those of us who choose to TRUST God in ALL things wondering… well, just wondering.  And sometimes wandering.

how-do-you-say-goodbye-to-someone-you-cant-live-without

And you think… feel… believe that you just can NOT go on.  But you do.  You take one step at a time… one foot first then the other… not too much different from doing the Hokey Pokey.  Actually it’s nothing like doing the Hokey Pokey but I like to throw that into my conversations every now and then… AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT…

Dance

YES!!!  You are DANCING… you are LOVING… you SING!!! and you LIVE again!!!

And you find a reason to keep on going for one more day because you love Him so very much, you trust in Him and He is holding your hand… and that is priceless.

pricelessand… next thing… you know… you are willing to…

quote book on tumblr Take A Chance

Kindness, Respect, Wisdom and Gratitude – powerful words

Powerful words – yes.   Doable ? – absolutely   Will you pledge, too? – hopefully…

http://www.avaaz.org/en/three_principles_loc/?copy

I am imagining how much my little corner of the world is going to change because I have made the choice to be intentional in the way I treat others with Kindness… Respect… Wisdom… Gratitude… this is the way God created me to be in the first place.

Blessings, my friends 🙂

I LOVE to be STRETCHED!!!

This time last year, I was in a really bad place in every way imaginable.  That’s not an exaggeration.  I was so sick of change that I remember BEGGING God to bring BORING, MUNDANE, ORDINARY into our life.  Looking back at my journal from that period of time gives me plenty of proof.  Sometimes I wish I didn’t write so much detail into my notebooks… then other times it’s good to have those reminders.  Little did I know “back then” how much change was about to explode in front of my little brown eyes.  Little did I know how POWERFUL – more than Stretch Armstrong powerful – God was about to become in my life.  (Right now the song on the radio has lyrics of “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength… I don’t have to be strong enough…”  Thanks, God!!!)  Don’t you just LOVE how God gives you His “winks” throughout the day if you just look for them?  Again, I digress… ANYHOW… Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Yeah, right God.  Sure thing.  Whatever YOU say!

Now, I need to go on a side path here for just a moment but, no worries, I’ll get back to where I was originally going in a few.  Hang on.  This will make sense…

All of my life up until sometime in 2010, I had honestly believed that it was my purpose to be the “little United Nations” to the world.  Take care of everybody else.  Do for everybody else.  Forget about me.  Keep everybody HAPPY! HAPPY!! HAPPY!!!  (Maybe that is why I like Pharrell Williams’ song HAPPY so much.)  THEN… I… met… Gil.  OKay… I can’t go there right now.  The tears are starting.  So let’s go back onto the original path.  No.  Let’s stay here.  After he passed away, actually in the days leading up to “that” day… I became more & more scared.  Not about living life without him… do you realize how hard it is to type with tears running down your face and your glasses steaming and your nose running… beautiful visual there… BUT living life without my #1 cheerleader.  I thought that I would slip back into that old mindset where I heard all of the old tapes… “who do you think you are?” and “WHY do you want to do THAT?” and “you’re so stupid” and on and on and on…

This morning as I read the devotional from “My Utmost For His Highest” I had an epiphany.  I’m not really sure what that means… had an epiphany… but it sounds good here.  A light bulb moment.  God walked into the room and smacked me on the head!!!  All of a sudden I realized the seeds that Gil had planted in my head and they sprouted and then they took root in my heart and now they are growing me – I am being STRETCHED!!!  Did you ever notice how when you let go of SA’s arms that they slither back to their original length/shape/ordinariness…

Here is what spoke so loudly to me… “My misgivings arise from the fact that I search within to find how He will do what He says.  My doubts spring from the depths of my own inferiority. If I detect these misgivings in myself, I should bring them into the light and confess them openly – “Lord, I have had misgivings about You. I have not believed in Your abilities, but only my own. And I have not believed in Your almighty power apart from my finite understanding of it.”

FINITE.  LOOK AT THAT WORD!!!

Suddenly… SUDDENLY… I realized that I have GROWN… I have been STRETCHED… beyond that inferiority stuff. Now wait. I’m not saying that I think that I am now “all that” cause I don’t. It’s just that I see how usable I am to God and how HE is using me. I see how He has been “working all things together for good and getting rid of the crap” … that’s the Giloria translation… the toxic stuff is melting away!

The past few weeks have been kinda sorta interesting. The stuff that I’m referring to would be funny if it was happening in the life of somebody else, to be honest here. I’ve had a guy tell me, “That’s why you need a husband.” Excuse me? I don’t NEED anybody other than God. The rest of it is real nice but REALLY?  I’ve been told, “You just need to move on.” too many times.  Hey.  God has the clock and the stopwatch in His hands, not me.  (Now they’re playing that song “GREATER”… greater is the One living inside of me than he who is living in the world!!!  I LOVE IT!)  Pardon me while I step out for a moment to do a little dancing around the room!  Care to join me???  Whoo Hoo… Yes!  GREATER is HE than meeee…

The voices of the world will keep us beaten down if we listen to them MORE than we listen to the voice of God. I was just thinking this morning about how much better I “feel” when I choose the radio remote over the t.v. remote in the mornings.  But that’s a subject for another day…

Dear God, thank YOU for making me the way you chose… the things that I hate but am learning to love because YOU had it all planned for YOUR purposes. Thank YOU for walking me through this valley and bringing me into YOUR son-shine.  Please help me to continue to seek YOU and to please YOU. Help me to prove to others that YOU really are who you say YOU are simply by being me. Forgive me for the times I forget YOU. The times I get so busy trying to figure out life that I kick YOU off to the side of the road. Thank you for the friends YOU chose for me and that they hold me accountable. Thank YOU for the redeeming grace offered to each and every one of us… In YOUR Holy and precious name… Amen.

p.s.  Thank YOU, Lord, for all of the changes – this is exciting!

Trusting God is so simple. Why do I make it so hard?

“We do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.  For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NASB)

I absolutely love it when God screams at me.

Yesterday, my sweet friend who I affectionately call my PDQT… not because she has an ounce of drama in her being but because she absolutely LOVES anything PURPLE… and I accidentally came across the “fact” that the color purple translates into “drama queen”… again, I digress… well, she posted a simple phrase that I can’t get out of my head.  “We have to trust God to blow our sail in the right direction and stay on board for the ride!”

Then this morning, I read the passage from 2 Corinthians for the umpteeteenth time and finally GOT IT!

So stay in the safety of God’s sailboat until HE tells me to get out.  Quit trying to set my own sails.  TRUST HIM.  This is a season in life and He is in charge of all of the seasons.  When He wants me to step into the waters, He will show me the way.  Trust.  Simply trust…